Showing posts with label Time_Management. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Time_Management. Show all posts

Wednesday, November 23, 2016

Spa great way to pamper yourself

Why do people go to a spa? They go to loose weight or they go to relieve stress. But what does everybody who goes to a spa have in common? They all go to be pampered. They go to have some time that is there own. When you go to a spa you are getting away from it all for a little while. There are many ways to be pampered while you are there.


There is the massage, be it sports, deep tissue, Swedish or one of the other types available at the spa. While it is true massage helps relieve stress, reduce toxins, and allows your joints to maintain flexibility amongst other things there is also the added benefit of feeling like a queen. Aside from you physical toxins that get worked away there is also the mental dimension that gets taken care of in the process.


Then there is the facial which is a deep cleansing of the face. Your skin is exfoliated and it feels smooth and is tighter but the feeling of having some care being focused on you, not to mention the way you look after a facial can only be described as pampered. You feel like you are renewed. This can be symbolic, in a way, as you are washing your mind and stimulating yourself.


You can get a manicure or a pedicure at a spa. It is different from your regular visit to the local nail salon. At the spa there are trained and well paid technicians who would help you select a color, apply the polish without chips or bubbles and be courteous throughout the whole experience. If you are looking for great service then a manicure or pedicure at a spa will give it that extra special feeling of being treated well.


If the spa you are visiting offers it, you could go for a body wrap. The body wrap works by having the body wrapped in a formula of oils, fragrances or herb or minerals. These formulas are different and are designed to pull toxins out of the body and to absorb them. The wrap helps push the body together so that if there are any gaps between the tissue in your body, they would be decreased. Some wraps may help with weight loss. Body wraps make you feel taken care of. It can be a good thing to have just before a massage.


Arrive early for your spa day, so you can get the best out of everything. If you start early you will start the day on a slower pace and that will help you relax through your various treatments. After your spa treatment you will feel much more relaxed and ready to pick up where ever you left off. You will have more energy to be with your family, get back to work or even go out with your friends.


Sunday, November 20, 2016

Defining agoraphobia discover the true definition of agoraphobia from an ex-sufferer s perspective

There are two things that are apparent when you start to seek a definition for agoraphobia and that is that, depending on where you look, there is more than just one definition. If we take a look in a dictionary, we will find that the interpretation given there is similar to the following: a disease which results in the sufferer being afraid of open or public spaces which, can result in the sufferer becoming housebound.


The second usual definition goes something like this: An anxiety disorder where the sufferer lives in fear of finding themselves in an embarrassing situation from which there is no escape. More advanced agoraphobics may, indeed, become confined to their home in order to avoid any such discomfort occurring whilst in public.


We can see that the result of being housebound is the same in both definitions, how the sufferer becomes housebound, though, is quite different. So, let’s compare both definitions to the real-life experiences of an agoraphobic.


I became an agoraphobic more than twenty years ago, following a series of panic attacks that occurred whilst I was travelling. At that time, my phobia was only connected to travel by any mode of transport that I chose: car, train, bus etc. but walking around outside posed no threat whatsoever. However, as the years progressed so did the severity of the condition and eventually, after around 18 years or so, I became totally housebound.


So, what is it that can make an agoraphobic’s life so limited? I’ll try to explain as best I can. But, if after reading this you can’t quite grasp the whole concept, don’t worry, most health professionals that I’ve consulted over the years couldn’t grasp it either.


As an agoraphobic, I lived in fear of when my next panic attack would strike. I was lucky, in one respect, in that I’ve never had a panic attack whilst within the confines of my home. However, I do know of other agoraphobics that do suffer them at home, sometimes quite frequently. For me, there was a fear bigger than the fear of having yet another panic attack and that was of having a massive panic attack that left me in a condition whereupon I could no longer stand up and walk or would result in some uncontrollable and embarrassing emotional outburst.


Knowing that certain situations could trigger my panic fuelled the second part of my condition. Being in heavy traffic made me feel very panicky and uncomfortable or standing still and not progressing forward on public transport had the same effect. So any thought of such an encounter brought on my “what if” syndrome. I’d be travelling down a road where the traffic was light and flowing freely when a thought such as: “I hope the traffic isn’t backed up at this or that road intersection” would enter my head and this would get me “what ifing”. “What if the traffic is backed up and we’re stuck there for twenty minutes and what if I have a panic attack and what if I can’t get to work and can’t get home?” This kind of thinking had just one outcome; it made me scared. And being scared and away from my safe zone just brought on my panic. This was one of the worst parts of my agoraphobia; me thinking my way into a panic attack.


Agoraphobia and its partners in crime, panic attacks and anxiety, stole everything that made my life good. But it didn't stop there. It's effects upon me altered the lives of my family and friends too. Having recovered from this nightmare existance, it's only now that I can look back and see just how debilitating this condition truly is.


Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Teachers job stress reduction

Teachers, job stress reduction is important to your health. You know that. Your physical bodies, emotions, minds, and spirits are all involved in school work. Even on holiday, you may find yourself working, or at least thinking about your work.


Such dedication need not be negative. A teacher should, above all, be a person who wants to make a big difference in students' lives. The challenge is to make that difference without permitting stress to drive you out of teaching. The challenge is to practice good stress reduction techniques.


Understanding Stress Reduction


An understanding of stress reduction must begin with an understanding of stress. Stress is not that stack of un-graded papers. Stress is not the child who insists on asking endless questions, no matter how well you explain. Stress is not a matter of two teenagers leaping into the aisle to fight, while the rest of the class chants, "Fight, fight, fight." Stress is not the parent who calls repeatedly to complain that you are not doing what is best for her child. Stress is not even the principal inviting you to the office for a job review conference.


All of the above are stressors, not stress.


Stressor Defined


A stressor is a stimulus that causes stress. The illustrations above are of stressors. When Job broke that expensive science equipment, his action was a stressor. When Betty brought her father's spearfish for show-n-tell – and stabbed it into your right arm – that was a stressor. They were stimuli that caused stress. They themselves were not stress, but they stimulated stress.


Stress Defined


Stress is your RESPONSE to the above examples. "Good stress" or "bad stress" is produced dependent on your response. Which calls for job stress reduction?


On the one hand, you respond negatively in fight-or-flight mode. Adrenalin floods your body and muscles tense. Blood is shunted from extremities to core organs. All systems are "go" for fleeing or fighting the enemy.


On the other hand, you respond positively by becoming excited and challenged. Endorphins power happy determination to move ahead. You are flooded with a feeling of euphoria, ready to make the best of the stressor.


Stress, negative or positive, is your response to stressors.


We continue with a brief look at the two kinds of stress.


Eustress – Beneficial, Good Stress


Teachers, job stress reduction programs are unnecessary when the stress involved is eustress. Eustress is an appropriate, positive response to the stressors teachers meet. "Eu" means "good" in Greek. Picture joy and laughter. Eustress is pleasant, healing stress.


Eustress may appear to be an emotional, mental, spiritual, or physical overload, but it does not drain away power. It energizes you; helps you handle the overload. Teachers' job stress reduction programs should begin with a presentation of eustress and the benefits it offers.


Distress – Detrimental, Bad Stress


Most teachers' job stress reduction programs focus only on distress. Distress is an inappropriate, negative response to the stressors of a teacher's job. "Di" means "two" in Greek. Picture double trouble coming your way. Distress is often a disabling, crippling stress.


Distress, like eustress may appear to be an emotional, mental, spiritual, or physical overload. Unlike eustress, distress drains power for anything other than fight or flight. Distress tires you; freezes the brain, and makes it difficult to handle the overload. Teachers' job stress reduction programs should include a presentation of distress and the detrimental effects it carries.


Employ Stress Augmentation!


Paradoxically, teachers, job stress reduction can be as simple as job stress augmentation. You need to augment, or increase, eustress on the job.


Remembering that stress is nothing more than your response to the demands placed upon you, recognize that you have control over job stress. You may choose to respond positively or negatively; with eustress or with distress.


Look at the following two examples.


1. You face a huge stack of un-graded papers at the end of the day.


A distress response is to sigh, and take "flight" down the hall for another mug of stale coffee and some small talk. Eventually, you plod back to the classroom, "flight" still written clearly on every part of your body. You sit down forlornly, and gaze dejectedly at the clock. Your shoulders slump as you reach for the first paper. You wish for job stress reduction, unconsciously defining it as a magic wand that will make the papers go away. That does not happen, of course, and you begin to reap the detrimental effects of distress.


A eustress response is to smile, allot 2 hours to finish the work, and divide the stack into 8 stacks. Now you have bite-sized work piles. You set a goal of completing each stack in no more than 15 minutes – less if responsibly possible. Promising yourself a cup of coffee after the first hour, you tackle the first stack, eager to meet or beat you goal. Augmenting eustress, you enjoy job stress reduction and all of its healthy benefits.


2. Betty insists on asking endless questions, no matter how well you explain.


A distress response is to "fight" with Betty, stress reduction hopes shattered. You feel neck and shoulders muscles tighten. A frown yanks your mouth downward as you approach Betty's seat. Unconsciously, you clench your fist. You will not permit Betty to demand so much attention, and you make that very clear in sharp, "fighting" tones. Betty cowers into silence, and you begin to reap the detrimental effects of distress.


A eustress response is to smile quietly, and see Betty as one reason you decided on a teaching career. You want to teach Betty stress reduction along with proper listening techniques. You wait for a time when the rest of the class is occupied, and then go quietly to Betty's desk. Smiling, you take Betty's hand and lead her gently into a quiet, private part of the room. Relaxed and happy, you set a goal with Betty. You and she will work together to help her listen in such a way that she needs fewer questions. As she learns to control her response to the stressor of listening, she can win small rewards along the way. By the time Betty returns to her desk, you both are happy. Augmenting eustress, you enjoy job stress reduction again.


Tip: Teachers, job stress reduction is a choice. No elaborate stress reduction program is necessary if you have the backbone to commit to augmenting eustress and refusing to engage in distress.


Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Brainwave meditation - the new way of meditating

Meditation has been practiced since ancient times, but today, in the busy and dynamic, even agitated modern world, meditation or taking time for ourselves is almost a must. And since more and more people are interested to benefit from the positive effects of relaxation and meditation, scientists and specialists have become more interested in studying all the aspects of meditation, how it works and how it can have maximum efficiency. And one of the most recent results of these researches is the brainwave meditation.


How Can You Benefit from the Brainwave Meditation?


The results of the brainwave meditation are the same as in the case of other forms of meditation, but some might say that they are even more intense and specific. There is a great selection of products on today’s market, products that you can use in order to test this new meditation technology and discover its results. The most popular products are "psychoacoustic" CD’s with a wide range of relaxation and meditation messages that are mainly based on the concept of visualization.


The brainwave sessions can vary in length, but users mention the fact that longer sessions lead to faster results and a better general relaxation – these sessions can last up to 45 minutes. There are very specialized CD’s or audio formats that are focused on various ranges, such as alpha, beta or delta or there are some which are destined to stimulate all these at the same time.


Basically the role of these brainwave meditation sessions is to travel with your thought and mind, to improve your perception to various stimulants, to develop your awareness, and to be able to conduct an accurate introspection.


Besides the musical CD’s with relaxing audio signals, there are various audio formats that are focused on breathing patterns that are meant to relax the listener, based on the same frequency principle. Basically, these breathing sessions that are assisted by an audio format have the purpose to relax the body, the muscles and to slow down the heartbeats, together with releasing the tension.


How Does the Brainwave Meditation Actually Work?


What is the scientific concept that this type of meditating is based on? It all starts from the binaural beats. But what are these binaural beats? Basically, the brainwave meditation or, also called, brainwave entertainment, presupposes the fact that the brain receives various audio stimulants or signals with a certain frequency and reacts, responds to these signals. The binaural beats have more roles besides the role they play in brainwave meditation – they are used in the treatment of certain mental disorders and other medical conditions.


Brainwave meditation is gaining more and more supporters. Until its appearance and until the appearance of the wide range of products that promote this type of meditation, there were many skeptics that doubted the positive effects of meditation upon one’s mind, psychological life, spirituality and general health. But nowadays, these effects can me maximized and measured, they can be scientifically proven – and this explains the fact that meditation is gaining more and more supporters.


Tuesday, July 19, 2016

The secret - collection of inspirational quotes part 30

Truth hurts--not the searching after; the running from.


-- John Eyberg


Prosperity is the result of complying with definite laws that are revealed by the Spirit of truth within. Those who are prosperous and successful are the people who have a rich consciousness . . . the ones who have developed their innate abilities and used the success-producing ideas that have come to them.


-- Myrtle Fillmore


Let a man radically alter his thoughts, and he will be astonished at the rapid transformation it will effect in the material conditions of his life. Men imagine that thought can be kept secret, but it cannot; it rapidly crystallizes into habit, and habit solidifies into circumstance.


-- James Allen


The only guide to a man is his conscience; the only shield to his memory is the rectitude and sincerity of his actions. It is very imprudent to walk through life without this shield, because we are so often mocked by the failure of our hopes and the upsetting of our calculations; but with this shield, however the fates may play, we march always in the ranks of honor.


-- Winston Churchill


You cannot believe in honor until you have achieved it. Better keep yourself clean and bright: you are the window through which you must see the world.


-- George Bernard Shaw


The winds and waves are always on the side of the ablest navigators.


-- Edward Gibbon


. . . Life is the coexistence of all opposite values. Joy and sorrow, pleasure and pain, up and down, hot and cold, here and there, light and darkness, birth and death. All experience is by contrast, and one would be meaningless without the other. . .


When there is a quiet reconciliation, an acceptance in our awareness of this lively coexistence of all opposite values, then automatically we become more and more nonjudgmental. The victor and the vanquished are seen as two poles of the same being. Nonjudgment leads to quieting of the internal dialogue, and this opens the doorway to creativity.


-- Deepak Chopra, M. D.


To read more quotes visit : spiritual-simplicity. com


Thursday, June 2, 2016

Dating advice indecisive to focused in 5 steps

You are a single woman who is frustrated because your life and relationships are humdrum and mundane. Time to make some changes. What are you really passionate about? What makes your heart sing? Are you waiting for a relationship to make your life begin? It's time to step out of your comfort zone and begin to live a life that has energy and momentum.


Step 1 - Move out of Indecisive


As a single coach many of the women I speak to are indecisive about their lives and particularly about relationships. They seem to be in a rut and don't know how to find the time, energy or focus to have it be different.


Ask yourself the question; is my life as I would like it to be? Do I have a picture of how I want my life to look in a year, 2 years, 5 years? I suggest that if you want you life to be different you first have to start with your own vision. Part of this vision will probably include a relationships. So Step 1 is to build your vision, give yourself time and space to do this - get yourself a notebook, look at all areas of your life, including relationships, and write down how you would life to look.


Step 2 - Moving from trying to doing


Part of the problem for single women is that you do not know how to make the changes in your attitudes and actions. Quite a lot of the time I hear women say that they will 'try' to do something. Have you ever just tried to pick up a cup? Just trying ends in failure because you will not complete the action.


So now you have a vision how are you going to make this happen? How are you going to convert trying into doing? Step 2 is about learning not just to dip your toe in the water but to make the first step. Look at the work you have done on your vision and ask yourself what is the one thing I can do today which will move me towards that vision? This action will often be very small but it is a step taken and achieved.


Step - 3 Change


Change is not half-hearted, it has energy and dynamism. It is about having a headline for your life that says "I know where I am heading and I am walking in that direction". So in Step 2 I talked about taking the first steps. Although these may be small at first the aim is for you to get your life in motion and find more energy for yourself.


Step 3 is about how to find that energy. If you want to achieve lasting change in your life you are going to have to feel successful in the steps you are taking. What are you really passionate about that you are not doing now? What makes your heart sing? I suggest you concentrate on those areas of life that will bring you the biggest gains first. That means don't necessarily look at the relationship part first, look at those parts that you can achieve on your own.


Step 4 - Commitment to yourself first


Guess what, you need to fix your life first and a relationship that you desire will follow. This sounds like a tall order but I can assure you it works like that. Your first commitment is to yourself and getting all the pieces of your life in order so that you can have the future that you desire.


How can you keep that commitment? Step 4 is you putting your agenda at the top of your list of priorities. This is not about being selfish but about being self-focused and self-disciplined. Take the situation when you have promised yourself that you will do a particular task that will move you towards your vision. A friend phones, she is lonely and would like to meet for a drink. It is easy for you to give up on your task after all you want to be a good friend but it is more important to remind yourself about your priorities. After all you can meet her tomorrow night. So don't put off those things that move you further down your path.


Step 5 - Making a plan and sticking to it.


It is so easy to let life get in the way and find yourself back where you were. Therefore the most important part is having a plan for your life and for relationships that will keep you focused on moving forward.


My suggestion is that Step 5 is for you draw up a plan. It will have different areas for the different parts of your life. Then ask yourself what can I do this week, this month, this 6 months to move forward? Now it is time to make appointments with yourself, but your tasks in your diary. Be kind to yourself and don't make them too big or too many just slow and steady. See yourself being successful in ticking them off week by week.


Wednesday, June 1, 2016

Top five self-coaching tips for internet businesses

Do new Internet businesses really need the services of a business Coach, even if they can afford it? Being that one of my roles is as an Internet business coach I am somewhat biased and would generally answer "yes" to my own question!


Nonetheless, it is possible to effectively self coach regardless of whether you have a flesh and blood business coach or not.


While a student with the International Coach Academy, I also had a demanding full-time IT career with a major investment bank. And during my own transition from salaried employee status to that of startup Internet business owner, I used the following 5 self-coaching tips regularly.


1-Be Open To Alternative Ideas:


One potential downside of the social and peer conditioning in schools and corporate life, is that many people automatically resist even considering new ideas. Why is this? My experience suggests that these people have learned by experience not to rock the boat. If you think this looks and smells like fear of failure, you'd be absolutely right. As a solo business owner your challenge is to notice alternative ways of achieving objectives. Practically speaking, even if only a small percentage of these ideas might be useful in your business, they could still be the difference between success and failure.


2-Experience Life To The Max:


Here's a saying I recall that brings this into focus:


"there are people worrying about what they will be doing in an eternal afterlife who have no idea how to spend a wet Sunday afternoon."


The more richness and vitality you can find in the ordinary aspects of your everyday life, the better equipped you will be to handle the ups and downs, and yes the occasional boredom, of running and operating your own solo business. So, what are you going to enjoy doing on the next available rainy Sunday afternoon?


3-Who Needs More Accountability?:


Probably all us...based on what I have observed about effective coaching. It comes down to this. There are two primary ways I know of making real and usually lasting changes in a Business person's life. Number 1 is raising awareness and number 2 is taking responsibility.


(Notice that I did not say taking 100% responsibility. - the degree of responsibility taken is a matter of practicalities as much as personal ownership.) As far as self coaching goes, taking more responsibility (number 2 from above) invariably ends up in applied accountability. Applied personal accountability. Choosing to compassionately but precisely observe your behavior several times a day can add up over time to a liberating feeling of accepting more accountability and all that goes with the territory. Are you up to this challenge? Just start with a basic intention of being more accountable and notice what happens over a period of weeks and months.


4-Get To the Point:


Getting to the point is in danger of becoming a lost art in a corporate world where taking responsibility is sometimes like being exposed to a highly contagious and career limiting disease! And that's probably why it surprises many new Internet business owners when they comprehend just how many hours in their already busy business days are being expended in not getting to the point. In this arena I have again found that self coaching works well with simple acts of observation. All you have to do at the start of each activity is to ask yourself : "what's the point of this?" Keep asking and you'll get answers. OK, so had you a purpose in mind before reading this article? If not, get one.


5-The Art of Polite Conversation:


Internet business owners spend a lot of time glued to computer screens. However, there are people out there with whom it is probably a good idea to be able to have a polite conversation with. In person, via email, on the phone, via Skype-chat etc. Whatever, the ability to talk in a polite and respectful manner, and still get the job done, is a skill that will never age! In fact, a set of basic rules based on the art of polite conversation is probably the single best thing you can do for your own peace of mind and happiness in your Internet business. Although you can probably come up with your own way of doing this, an increasingly famous and incredibly effective method is given in Dr. Paddi Lund's book, "Building The Happiness-Centred Business". Go get the book out and say G'day to the Solutions Press folks who publish it!


Thursday, May 5, 2016

Living with real spirit

The decision I made took me out of character. It went against the grain of my early life experience and clashed with how I've become as an adult.


This decision has left me feeling part-whole - more spirited - part scared - uncomfortable and confused. It really took me outside my comfort box.


As a child I remember people often making comments like, 'Children should be seen and not heard.' I remember kids I went to school with telling me I couldn't sing. I can remember my opinion being laughed at in a classroom and family asking me to make 'Less noise.'


As a result of all of these comments I learned to keep my mouth shut, keep my opinion to myself and live a quite almost monkish existence.


Then at 6am one morning, while out for a walk on a country lane I had an uncontrollable urge to shout.


It wasn't that I wanted to shout anything in particular. I wasn't angry, frustrated or fed up. I just wanted to shout, 'Hello', 'Thank you', and 'Yes I am here.'


It felt so good. I wanted to do it again. But louder. So I did. Then I wanted to laugh. And it wasn't just a quite laugh. It was a really good belly laugh.


As I'm writing this I understand that my spirit wanted to raise the roof and let some more of the hidden me out.


You see it's all very well being 'spiritual' - meditating, understanding, being agreeable, showing empathy and all that, but it's quite another thing to be 'spirited.'


Being spirited might mean allowing yourself to make a little noise, letting your voice be heard, perhaps not complying to protocol - or the norm - when you don't agree with it.


Having let out my voice I was faced with the urge to dance - the part of me that is uncomfortable was pleased I was at home by this stage and not still walking a country lane - I mean what would it be like to be caught dancing in a country lane at 6am in the middle of nowhere?


Then throughout the week I've had the urge to put music on - rather than sit and read or meditate - to speak at a higher volume than usual - shout thanks up to the sky when something good happens rather than bowing my head. And do you know something?


It feels more like REAL spirited living than all that quite stuff.


When someone seeks me out as their coach they are often frustrated at circumstances or looking to accelerate their growth - in other words find how they can have what they want and get rid of what they don't want.


What I've found from my experience with REAL SPIRIT is that I want to live with more of the kind of spirit - shouting with glee and dancing and laughing. It made me feel more inspired and enthused.


When we're inspired and enthused we are on the journey to having everything. It also means we digest every experience that comes our way in a more positive light.


Three things to try:


1. I dare you to shout!


2. At dinner time, throw your head back and shout thank you for the food.


3. Put some music on loud and just allow your body to do what it wants


With Love and good wishes


Neil


Saturday, March 26, 2016

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Wednesday, March 23, 2016

Transformational long-term permanent lasting change

Change is the key to our success and to our financial future. Often in our own lives, however, change is something we fiercely resist. Even when achievement sits on our doorstep, we’re still too comfortable to make an adjustment. The very first place to look for transformation is within. When you take ownership of yourself, your life and your income, you are on your way to harnessing success.


I learned early in my life that if things needed to change, it was up to me to change them.


I have had the great pleasure of working with Jim Rohn, who inspired me to new levels of success and happiness. When I first met Mr. Rohn, I was sitting at a dinner table with ten other people. I grabbed a seat near him and just wanted to listen to his words of wisdom and conversation. When a lull in the conversation arose, I was caught off guard when Mr. Rohn asked me about my goals, dreams and aspirations. In response, I began to talk about many of the roadblocks I had experienced in my pursuit of success. I listed all the reasons why I wasn’t able to achieve my goals and dreams. I let him know who was to blame and insisted none of it was my fault. I thought I had made a pretty good case and then the hammer dropped. Jim looked at me and said, “Kurt, for things to change, you must change, and for things to get better, you must get better.” That brief moment in time changed my life forever. It was then that I realized that everything I wanted in life is on the other side of change, not the other side of excuse. I also realized that no matter the excuse (good or bad), it would not produce results.


If you want to make the same kind of transformation in your life, the first thing you have to do is take an honest look at yourself and where you are. You can’t make changes if you won’t acknowledge what needs to be changed. Where are you starting? What is your current situation? If you could change one thing in your life, what would it be? It is only from honestly assessing where point A is that you can develop a well-defined, well-planned route to point B. Then the next obvious thing to determine is where or at what point B is located. In other words, what exactly are you aiming for? What do you want?


Now is not the time to be timid.


Don’t shortchange yourself because you want to be “careful” or “reasonable” or you don’t want to “rock the boat.” Shoot for the stars! You’ll define the path to get there, but first you have to know what exactly you’re even trying to reach. In other words, you must begin with the end result and then work your way backward. You have to know exactly where you want to go and what you need to change to get there. Sometimes, people are actually afraid of being “too” successful. To be brilliant or amazing might actually be a scary proposition. As success comes into sight, you might feel a lot of responsibility weighing down on you. So, how successful should you be? How healthy should you be? How wealthy should you be? How strong should your relationships be? Consider the following powerful quote from Nelson Mandela:


"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the World.


There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us."


– 1994 Inaugural Speech


We are unique creatures. In spite of the seeds of greatness that lie within us, we seem to program ourselves to do the least amount possible to get by. That is, we often do only what is necessary to survive. I see this tendency with my students at the local university all the time. Their mentality is: What is the least amount of work I can do to pass this class? They are paying top dollar to get their education yet rarely do you see a student take advantage of all the learning that is at her/his disposal. We see symptoms of the same mental laziness, lack of progress and resistance to change in the workplace, too:


What is the least amount of work I can do to get a paycheck and not get fired? When we are in this lazy mindset, we can’t find happiness, and as a result, our souls start to rust.


The challenge is that we often don’t see the consequences of our behavior fast enough.


Time ticks by, and by the time we’re even aware of how off course we’ve gotten, years have flown by. We live in a society where we want the quick fix, the easy way out.


Unfortunately, however, that is not how life works. If it takes someone five years to gain twenty pounds, why does someone else think he can completely lose it in a couple weeks? Another example is fast food. We know it’s not good for us, and yet hey, nothing bad happened today after I had that super-size order of fries. The consequences of the unhealthy food will take time to manifest, but in the meantime, the instant gratification of a fast and delicious meal now overpowers concerns about the future that, in the moment, seem immaterial. Imagine if every time you ate at a fast food restaurant the consequences were immediate. You took a bite and felt a bulge near your midsection. If that were the case, it wouldn’t take long before you changed your ways.


There are thousands of habits and patterns in our lives that fit the instant gratification scenario. Another example is debt. So what do we do when we’re constantly confronted with such difficult choices: immediate pleasure versus future gain? What do we do about it? You would be very wise to make a habit as soon as possible of analyzing your life on at least a weekly basis. Determine what you want to change now, not after years of reinforcing the wrong habits. The saying goes, “Old habits die hard” and it’s really true.


Stop destructive cycles now before the strands that bind you become impenetrable rope.


Without changing your action, your wishes and hopes will only be whims that never go anywhere. It’s time for you dreams to start to bear fruit!


So, are you ready to welcome change into your life? Good! Remember, as Albert Einstein said, “You can’t solve a problem with the same mind that created it.” Once you have recognized the need to change and have embraced the opportunity to change, then you will need to start organizing your plan of action. Think backward. What is the big picture? What are the major phases within that big picture? What are the steps within each phase that will move you from one point to the next? It is worth pointing out here that you must be careful not to let the opinions of others dissuade you. I’m sure you’ve experienced this before—you’ve gotten yourself all excited and pumped up, you tell someone you really care about all your great plans and they barely listen or care. Or worse, they start pointing out all the reasons why your plan isn’t going to work or why it’s a bad idea. Crash! You can’t remember the last time you felt so deflated.


I’ll admit that it is hard to stay focused and persistent when people spit on your dreams. Fear of failure, fear of what others will think—these are totally normal feelings. But you can’t let them debilitate you. Napoleon Hill said, “The fear of criticism robs man of his initiative, destroys his power of imagination, limits his individuality and takes away his self-reliance.” You are destined for greatness. Follow your heart not the useless criticism and discouragement of those who have forgotten how to live and dream.


So many people assume that if they don’t try, then they can’t fail. If they don’t try, no one will criticize them either. The tragedy of this mindset is that they will fail by virtue of never having even attempted to succeed. George Shinn once said, “Growth means change and change involves risks, stepping from the known to the unknown.” I have always loved the phrase “jump and the net will appear.” Consider the fact that most of the fears we face in life are not life-and-death matters. And yet, we are so gripped by our fears that it’s almost as though they were life-and-death matters.


The next time you feel yourself paralyzed by fear, stop and honestly assess your feelings.


What is the worst thing that could really happen? Are the possible setbacks really life-or death situations, or are they just opportunities to learn and grow, even if they are sometimes unpleasant or painful? Reflect on the fact that almost all successful people have their stories about where they came from and what they had to go through to achieve success. What’s more, it’s rarely a rosy picture. It might also be worth asking yourself what the worst thing is that could happen if you do nothing. Chances are the consequences might be more severe in the case of inaction versus action. Either way, there is a price to be paid. Do you want regrets or do you want results? We say no to some things because we are saying yes to other things. You just need to be sure you know what hangs in the balance either way. Sometimes it is the realization of the imminent, stark reality hitting us in the face that provides the momentum for change. Whatever the motivator is, just don’t let fear stop you from forging ahead.


Tuesday, March 8, 2016

3 ways to understand the law of attraction better

No doubt, you’ve probably watched “The Secret” and wanted to know more about the law of attraction. There are plenty of teachers out there talking about the law of attraction, but the truth is that the law of attraction is just a name.


No body is really 100% sure of what the law of attraction really is or how it works. The basic premise is that like attracts like. You can imagine yourself as a magnet attracting all of the circumstances, people and things in your life. Your thoughts, visions, and feelings all work to attract certain things into your life. But the deeper you understand the law of attraction, the more you realize that you alone are responsible for everything in your life.


This is a hard pill to swallow, especially if you’ve been brought up to believe that something or someone outside of you is punishing or rewarding you for something. It’s also difficult to understand, when it seems that things just happen to you. But law of attraction goes beyond your conscious mind, it also includes deep subconscious thoughts, feelings and visions. In many cases, those deeper, hidden feelings and programs can override what you consciously think and feel. Your subconscious feelings tend to have stronger and deeper roots, while your conscious thoughts don’t.


You can imagine a tree with branches above the earth surface and thick roots beneath the surface. Understanding the law of attraction requires a life time of learning and experience. It’s simply not enough to watch a movie and then know it. But there are ways you can understand more about the law of attraction and use it to bring you more of what you want in life.


Here they are;


1. Read books on the law of attraction – there have been countless books written on it such as The Master Key System – By Charles Haanel, Seth Material – By Jane Roberts, Think & Grow Rich (The original edition) by Napoleon Hill, Psycho-Cybernetics, Law of Attraction – by Michael Losier, and Art of Allowing – by Esther Hicks. Some of these may not use the term law of attraction, but when reading the books you will come to understand the deeper level of what law of attraction actually means. (There are way too many books to list here, so this is only a preliminary list)


2. Exercise the law of attraction daily – even if you just found out about this today, put it into practice. Look for evidence of the things you want.


3. Be patient with yourself. The law of attraction is literally you. Don’t expect overnight changes from yourself. Be balanced while still being open minded to great possibilities.


At the core, law of attraction is love. Your subconscious does not judge, and it only obeys your repeated conscious commands or the things you consistently think, feel and see. The universe is the same way. It’s unconditional love. That deeper level of you doesn’t judge, and it only brings you what you have consistently focused on. So even if you keep saying that you don’t want something and you keep thinking about the things you do NOT want, guess what? You’re focusing on those things. And you’re bringing more of those things to yourself. The key is to shift your focus on the things you do want.


Wednesday, February 3, 2016

Stress out the stress demon

Do you feel as if the world is tumbling down on you and that you’re running out of time? Are you losing sleep and eating less due to many responsibilities and too much pressure because of the demands from your family, friends or from work? Well, you are not the only one, kids and adults alike experience this feeling, it’s what we commonly call stress.


It is what we experience when we respond to a particular challenging, troublesome and uncomfortable event. It’s a normal occurrence in our life, everyday most of us are under stress but what is important is how we cope up with such situations.


Stress is an emotional feeling or physical tension. It occurs when we are under tight situations we have no control of. It comes in many names like tension, anxiety, uptight feeling or apprehension. What we consider stressful may not be to others.


There is good and bad stress. Good or positive stress happens during emergency situations or when we anticipate an exciting situation. Did you wonder why you were able to carry your refrigerator alone when there was fire in the neighborhood or what made you run faster when you thought someone was after you? But there is worse than good stress.


Stress can be acute, episodic acute and chronic. The most common is the acute stress. It is the result of pressure and demands of the past and expected probable to happen in the future. Episodic stress happens to individuals who are always in a rush but always late and disorganized. Chronic stress devastates the mind and body and eventually your life. It’s the result of poverty, unhappiness, dysfunctional families and hatred. What’s ironic is that people get used to it and even forget that it is there.


What’s important is how to combat stress. There is what we call Stress Management. These are ways to fight stress. But first you have to take an inventory of yourself, think what’s making you stress out. You have to learn how to manage some stress-inducing situations. The best way is to have a balanced life, avoid excessiveness in everything.


Try some relaxation techniques like yoga, include exercise in your daily activities, take healthy nutritional food and take vitamins. Be prepared and be organized always in all you do. Lastly, take active part in religious activities. You might be amazed that it really works.